Saturday, January 3, 2009

My Dating Week in Review

This week saw a spate of contact requests that actually fell into the right age group and, surprise surprise, single men. So how are things standing at the moment?

Well let's see : -

B3 - I received an email from him; he is very sorry that we couldn't develop anything as he felt we clicked. Well yes, we did click but I don't know that I could handle having a bisexual boyfriend, I have never been good at sharing ..... lol

B4 - sent me a Happy New Year text message but no other contact, thank goodness.

B5 - Chatted a few more times and then had coffee which seemed very good, both of us talked and we went for a stroll chatting all the while. The next day we arranged to meet and go for a swim at the beach. Was nice but ...... I know women demand equality nowadays but we clambered over rocks and climb up broken stairs and not once did he offer to help me. I thought for sure I was going to fall a couple of times. Plus when I first arrived at the meeting spot we had decided to continue in his car - he dived in for a pash, sorry, but it was the kiss of death as far as I was concerned. I had bruised lips to prove it for the next day or so; if you are going to kiss someone please don't just attack and pound your lips onto hers, not pleasant at all. So that was it as far as I was concerned.

B6 - Receive contact over the Christmas/New Year break and chatted online a bit. Seemed very nice so agreed to have coffee with him. He seems a very nice man, but far too quiet, mild and meek .... I'm afraid I would dominate it in 5 minutes flat .... I need someone who can handle my madness. He did tell me that "my profile photos were lovely but they did not do me justice as I was so wonderful in the flesh", which made me feel guilty that I didn't have any spark of interest in him. After that I didn't have the heart to say anything deflating so when he asked me if I would go out for dinner with him, I mumbled something about other family commitments. He gave me a little quiet kiss and went off happy while I was left feeling rather guilty.

I am IM chatting with a nice chap who is also a widower; not sure where that will go as he is a practising christian and with me a pagan - mmm.

Chatted with another fellow but he is very much into horse racing and as I find nothing remotely interesting in that it didn't get any further than a few emails/IMs.

Still waiting for another bachelor to return to Sydney - he requested contact just before Christmas but did say he would be away - not sure how that will go. He is tall (6'1) so that's a plus and is 48; but he doesn't have a picture on his profile so I am in the dark, as usual.

Why don't people put pictures on their profiles? Ok I can understand the married guys but if you are trying to meet someone online the first point of contact is the profile. I supposed it is very shallow to go by looks but, let's face it, most people go on visual impressions first. Even when you meet a group of people you tend to look before you listen. So if there is no picture you read the description and tend to build up an impression in your head which is by far the worst thing to do because no-one ever meets the fantasy creature you have designed.

One with a picture was a very very attractive 42 year old who send me an email asking if he could get to know me - now I may be cynical but I returned the email saying that I was not interested in casual sex, nor one night flings; I was looking for a long term relationship. Guess what, he didn't reply....lol.

Chatted with another guy a few times then spoke with him on the telephone; he assured me several times that he was looking for a long term relationship and that he was very taken with me and wondered if we might meet. We spoke for about 3/4 hour on the phone and he seemed very nice until he dropped a bombshell ... "if I were to meet you for coffee this week and ask you if you would give me oral sex, would that be a problem?"

Gee whizz, um let me think. Duh, what do you think???

Still I supposed if you don't ask you don't know - there may be some women who would take him up on his offer - just this BBW definitely won't.

Of course, mixed in with these were the usual under 30 requests plus a couple of regulars; you would think by now they would have got the hint that I am not interested. And of course, the oddballs from overseas - this time one in the UK, who proposed marriage in the very first introductory email and continues to send letters full of love and longing even though I haven't replied at all.

I have to admit that this online dating is a bit like going through an Ikea catalogue - you turn the pages and see something you like, read the description, then check the measurements to see if it will fit. Of course, as you know all those glossy pictures look great in the catalogue but never seem quite the same in real life.

Well, it's just the same with online dating; you see the picture and think, mmm he is cute, read the description, check his height and then send off a contact request. Often you get a reply saying, "Oh my photo is about 10 years out of date, will send you a recent one," and it just is never the same. So back to the catalogue.

So that, dear readers, brings you up to date. The new year has seen an increase in the amount of people requesting contact but it has also seen an increase in the amount of weirdness.

But through it all I am still laughing, let's face it when I get a request from a 18 year old who tells me he loves mature women and he would be able to keep up with all my 'sexual desires' what else is there to do but sit with tears of laughter streaming down my face and hit the delete button.

So how on earth do I get a request for contact from an attractive, tall guy who doesn't want sex in the first five minutes, is over 45 (and under 65) and knows how to kiss?? Gee people, is that too much to ask for?

Any ideas would be appreciated....rotfl.

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