The Joker
It is easy to misunderstand something and to get the wrong message.
I decided to print out a couple of old family photos - bad move at the moment - spent half the time crying over the fact my Mum and Dad had passed; I miss them so much, even at 60! I was/am one of those lucky people who had great parents. They were my friends not just my parents. [Image]
Their wedding anniversary (74) is only a couple of weeks away the same day as Mum's birthday and I know I get sentimental and sad around now. Plus Christmas is coming and Mum passed away then.
[Image]
I learn to paint from my Dad, learn to weld, how to lay bricks, strip an engine, change a tyre. From Mum how to cook, from them both how to laugh and live. They raised three girls to be confident women, we were taught to reach for the sky and never accept that we weren't good enough. We were taught there is no such thing as sexual stereotypes and if we wanted to do something that boys do then just do it. When I grew older and my sisters had married Mum, Dad and I would take trips away together and when I eventually married (26) and moved away from home we would talk on the phone each day at least, once if not more, for hours.
I studied engineering for four years and Dad love it; he was an ex Trawler captain and a marine engineer/fitter. I worked in Bush Fire research and did voice over work on documentaries. They supported me each time I changed jobs and continued to support me through the troubles with No.1 son. When I started working again after having the my children and went into working with problem children in schools in Behavioural Integration they supported me again. [Image]
But even with them I was the comic, the clown - hiding things behind laughter my early wall building attempts - but I also had the knack of accepting things - if I could change something I would if I couldn't I wouldn't worry about it. To a point I still have that ability and live that way.
At times my Dad introduce me or referred to me as The Joker and it often made me upset to think he thought of me that way even though that was how I showed myself. He would refer to my elder sister as the Posh Loving One and my middle sister as The Quiet Caring One but me - I was The Joker.
When my Dad was in his final few months he lived at a nursing home - I would visit each day, sometimes reading to him, sometimes talking, sometimes sketching; one day a new nurse came into the ward and he called her over. She said she had met my elder sisters and Dad said this is my youngest daughter, S****** ,The Joker. As usual if felt a little upsetting.
We all talked for a little while and she went off to another room. Then Dad said to me "I wish I could have been like you, all your life you had pain and heartache and yet you laughed and smiled and never let anything get on top of you; you accepted what life threw at you and never let it get in the way. I am proud of you, I envied you that ability. I wish I had understood that sooner, learnt to do it; it is only now, at the end of my life, that I can finally do it."
So The Joker was not as I had thought, I wasn't the comic relief of the family - it was a term of respect and love; I was so glad that he told me before he passed - it meant so much to know his true feelings.
The moral of this tale is I should have asked sooner why he called me that and saved years of anguish. I do so miss them.
[Image]
Please leave a comment so I know you visited......you know how all bloggers love to read comments!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
And The Winner Is ............................
Had my grandson and my son's partner's little boy over for the weekend so the two boys did the draw for me on who should win the FQ's. I think more names on paper were thrown over the floor than kept into the bag I put them in, but the boys had lots of fun and I got a winner's name.
And the Winner is ................... tada..............
Tasha from Tashalou Creations.
Thanks to everyone who came and visited and left nice messages, it was so exciting to have so many people visit my blog.
I would love you to come back and visit again ..... I will have another giveaway to celebrate my 10000th visitor but as I am only up to 8476 it may be a little while yet ....lol.
And the Winner is ................... tada..............
Tasha from Tashalou Creations.
Thanks to everyone who came and visited and left nice messages, it was so exciting to have so many people visit my blog.
I would love you to come back and visit again ..... I will have another giveaway to celebrate my 10000th visitor but as I am only up to 8476 it may be a little while yet ....lol.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Giveways
Three great giveaways I have found at the moment so check them out and see if you can manage to win one of the prizes up for grabs!
1. Di at Snippets and Scraps has a lovely pincushion and thread catcher plus a metre YES A METRE of beautiful chocolate coloured fabric on her blog.
2. Erica at Creative Dabbling has two cute selvedge pincushions on her blog giveaway.
and finally
3. Di is opening a great new website for sewers called Sewn and she has an amazing amount of wonderful goodies as prizes - things like jelly rolls and books and fat quarters and oh so many lovelies!
And if you look on her blog site there is a list to lots more giveaways.
SO to join in the fun I have decided to add a prize to my blog - add a comment and on June 8 I will draw a winner. The prize? How about 2 fat quarters of yummy fabric! Haven't decided what colours yet so add your favourite colour to the comment and that way you will win your favourite colour FQ! Don't forget to add your email so I can contact you if your the lucky winner.
1. Di at Snippets and Scraps has a lovely pincushion and thread catcher plus a metre YES A METRE of beautiful chocolate coloured fabric on her blog.
2. Erica at Creative Dabbling has two cute selvedge pincushions on her blog giveaway.
and finally
3. Di is opening a great new website for sewers called Sewn and she has an amazing amount of wonderful goodies as prizes - things like jelly rolls and books and fat quarters and oh so many lovelies!
And if you look on her blog site there is a list to lots more giveaways.
SO to join in the fun I have decided to add a prize to my blog - add a comment and on June 8 I will draw a winner. The prize? How about 2 fat quarters of yummy fabric! Haven't decided what colours yet so add your favourite colour to the comment and that way you will win your favourite colour FQ! Don't forget to add your email so I can contact you if your the lucky winner.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)