Crossroads ......

Have you ever reached a point in your life when you just don't know which way to go?

I am at that at the moment .... I feel I have to rethink my life and decide where I want it to go.

I have lived alone for the last 3 1/2 yrs and now feel that I have put my past grief, pain and horrors behind me.  I think it is time to take stock and make some decisions. 

I don't mean that I am going to do anything drastic like sell up an move to a hippy commune or become a hermit in a cave on a mountain; what I think is I want to evaluate my life and get out of the rut I have found myself in.  My life is filled with the same thing - day in, day out and it is my own doing.  I want a change and I intend to find it ..... lol

From fear of leaving the house I have become a hermit (without the mountain cave) but I need to take charge and push away from that fear.  This all stems from when Philip was alive and I had 6 years where I could rarely leave - so that means for almost 10 years I have locked myself inside my house - I rarely go out now.

I am 62 in  six weeks and I want to make changes before I get so ingrained in how I am that I can't.  I am sure there are wonders in front of me; there are dreams that I can grab; people I can meet; places to go and life to live.

So look out - I have decided before I turn 63 that I am going to turn over a new leaf - new hopes, new dreams, new people, new life and new fun!!

Hopefully there will some great paintings to come from my metamorphosis ....lol

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