Chapter Five - pre Christmas Rush

There has been a bit of a Christmas rush on the dating front - think all the ho ho hoing has been making some bachelors feel a little lonely so they are trying to line up a date for the festive season and the new year.

My 'request contact' box has been over worked and I have been patiently shifting through the pile to see if there are any prospective victims (er candidates).

So what did we have to choose from?

A) Sounded very nice, asian/aussie boy, 51, tall, cute looking - ah damn wants a FWB. That had me googling to figure out what he wanted. Fine Woman Beauty? Free Wife and Board? no it is Friend With Benefits...... *smirk*. OK I ain't no-one's playtoy unless they sign over the keys to the mansion, the yacht, the billion dollar bank account, etc ...lol.

B) Mr 51, Friendly, House Trained, in Need of Woman for Relationship - mmm - this looked interesting, read through his profile, ah yes sounded possible until you reach the last line - unable to commit to permanent relationship as married. Into the bin with him.

c) Attractive Middle Aged Gent Seeks Lady for Relationship - ok let's have a look at his profile. Mmm reads ok, can't see any mentions of wives, FWB or other less desirable traits. Accept contact. Few emails and some IMs - sounding interesting. Meet for coffee? Thank you that would be very nice. Ooops - who is this 5foot 1 inch bald man? I am sure the description said 5'8", brown hair ......... ?
"Sooziii?"
"Er yes."
"Hi I'm **."
"Er hello, you don't look like your description. I didn't recognise you"
"Well no, but I found that women didn't want to talk to me if I said I was short and bald."

Gee and he thinks they will speak to him when they find out he lied?? DUH! I don't think so.

d) Oh hell an 18 years old - bin.

e) Ah Mr Persistent (see last post) - wondered if I would hear from you this week, into the bin.

f, g, h and i) All under 25, bin

j & k) Married, bin

Well, I still have a week before 2009 so it will be interesting to see what lands in the contact box.


My Christmas will be spent without the company of any of the above - they won't be found under my mistletoe or be jingling my bells.

So stay tuned for the next exciting chapter; hopefully the New Year will bring some genuine victims who are enjoying this dating game as much as me.